Don't leave it at the door...

Violence is a useful tool is the catch cry for many in the self defence /combatives industry and rightfully so. You’ve seen the inspirational memes posted everywhere.
 
Violence is often ugly but on the odd occasion its a beautiful thing when used in the right context, such as a kid fighting off a bully, a woman fighting off a would be rapist etc. There’s a term that I would put on equal stead however it is always regarded in a negative light in this industry and that is ego.

Ego is defined as  ‘a person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance’ and that’s pretty damn important if you ask me. How many times have you heard the phrase leave your ego at the door? I say bring your ego with you because its pretty important, if you have no ego then you will be eaten alive in the gym and in life. Just like violence you need to be able to distinguish when and how it’s appropriate. Sure its wrong to come into a training environment and act like a douche trying to beat up everyone, but in a competitive drill I want people to compete, not lay down without putting up a fight. I love to see people in my classes put in effort & strive to be better than the next person, especially kids. Half the kids that are training with me are doing so because their parents feel they need more ego, they need to feel that are worthy of defending and that they shouldn't allow people to treat them like a door mat. Thats a lack of ego right there.

​I first started training because my ego motivated me to want to be able to fight if I needed to. Growing up in the environment I did lacking in ego would be detrimental. Throughout my training life my ego made me work harder than the next man, I would stay in the gym longer, practice everything at home & strive to improve. At 45 years of age I still do a minimum 8 training sessions a week, I hold my self to a higher standard than the average, its my ego that prevents me from getting out of shape and becoming one of those overweight, out of shape instructors who rely on their reputations rather than ability. My ego makes me ignore my minor injuries that are always there and continue to strive to be the best, I’ve had a number of pretty major surgeries and even if it may be a valid excuse my ego reemphasises its an excuse and to get back on it. Its my ego that has and will continue to help me in combat – be it combat sports or even self defence, it is my ego that makes me want to win & continue to so despite adversity, despite wanting to quit or choosing the simple path. My ego has picked me off the floor in a boxing ring and powered me on to victory after it looked like defeat was certain. My ego didn’t allow me to lose or look incapable in front of the large crowd cheering for the other guy My ego made me want to climb the rankings of fighters eventually making me a champion. My ego makes me stand up for myself, not allowing myself become a victim wherever my world shall take me.  My ego makes me strive to have my self defence school rated as one of the best worldwide. My ego makes me want my students to be the best they can be and be able to dismantle anyone who may threaten them. My ego makes my quality control measures more stringent than my competition thus achieving the aforementioned. . It’s my ego that makes me actually strive to find the best methods of training and not taking short cuts because they are easier.

​One thing that all professional fighters and successful athletes have is a big ego, some outwardly so that they seem conceited ie McGregor, Mayweather, Mundine yet others such as GGG, Roy Jones jnr etc have the same they just appear quietly confident.

On the flip side ego has caused many problems for both myself and others. I should’ve walked away from a number of the fights and challenges I have been presented in my time but my ego stopped me, that was absolutely not the best course of action in some of those instances. My ego doesn’t allow me to network in the martial arts industry as it will prevent me from partnering with people who I am not philosophy aligned with even if it means a better pay day.
 
The struggle is you need to know when to switch it on and when it needs to take a back seat, I’ve become better at this with time, the older I get the more control I have but it isn't as bad as advertised, in many instances its a necessity.